Some hilarious tales from ‘Moll the cleaner’

Helene Dolder as Moll the cleaner at Hepscott WI.
Helene Dolder as Moll the cleaner at Hepscott WI.
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Hepscott WI

A sense of anticipation settled over Hepscott village hall as we waited for the promised surprise entertainment at our Christmas Party — known only to one person present.

Clad in a beautiful, embroidered coat and shimmering green trousers (courtesy of Cirque du Soleil) our entertainer joined us — none other than Helene Dolder, raconteur, comedy writer and WI stalwart.

She began with her take on the old favourite ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’, re-titled ‘Have a Microsoft Christmas’.

Today’s children apparently send their letters to santaclaus@northpole.com and Santa has become a pal of Bill Gates, drives a Porsche, and due to his amazing business acumen in setting up a global toy manufacturing industry, is also a billionaire.

The hilarity continued as Helene described Liberace’s appearance at Selfridges, male masseurs and tales of woe due to her mispronunciation of words in the Greek language while living there, whereby her request for a discount in a designer shoe shop resulted in her being quietly told that the gynaecologist she required was further up the street. One can only imagine the look on the face of the waiter when she ordered soup made with the genitalia of men.

After a short break she returned as her alter ego Moll the cleaner, a self-styled fashionista, dripping with bling. Her cheerful, lively commentary was alive with pithy Geordie observations and hilarious malopropisms.

If, as she claims, laughter relaxes, cheers and boosts the immune system, then we all went home healthier and stress free. A great end to a very special year for the WI.

The first meeting of 2016 will be held in the village hall on Tuesday, January 19, at 7.30pm, and guests are all welcome.